Ushpizin

it was really hard for me to have to excuse myself from a staff meeting that we only get to go to once in a week, but i sacrificed to watch Ushpizin with that Tread gang. it was interesting to see a community where God actually mattered, because here, even at church, God doesn't seem to always be the focus. When i am thinking about getting a new something, or going out somewhere, i never really ask if this is what God wants, it's more would i like to do it. In this movie it showed a community, that even though they may be doing it a bit religiously, they kept their focus on pleasing God. When they were blessed by God, they recognized it, and gave praise to Him as he had deserved to be. It also showed how the main character Moshe changed his whole life around, one of his freinds from earlier in life visited him, and when he saw that Moshe was very religious he thought at first it was a fake, just an act. As time went on his friend realized that no it wasnt a fake; Moshe was real. i hope my friends from highschool saw me now they might see a difference, if God is working in me there should be.

Why a skull? Because i figured it out, why God is so stubbornly persisting to prod me. It is because i am stubborn and my skull is thick. God has to tell me a number of times that i need to learn something before i get it, i know what he's telling me, but i just decide that my ideas are better. In the last number of weeks i have been denying community very much, i don't really let people in, and i know the importance of it, of being accountable, like i've said before, i need to jump in somewhere. And why is it that I take so long to get there? i do not know.. There is a good chance though that I need to let go of some things, mostly my own thoughts, and how i think they are just a bit better than God's. It was mentioned in church today that some people are there own worst enemy, and that is me in more ways than one, i find that i don't have control over my own mind, and I can distract myself very, very easily. All that being said... "For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate." I can definatly sympathize with Paul here, it can be frusterating when I get caught up in it, but i know all i need to do is let God do His thing in me, and i hope to add water to this pot becuase it isn't always very formable.